Hooray, it's Boxing Day!

Premier League fans worship at the altar of Boxing Day, when they can dig into a feast of games.

For some people, the day after Christmas is a time to recover from the forced jollity -- and requisite binge drinking -- that comes from hanging out with relatives who want to know why you're wasting your life watching soccer until your eyes bleed. To them I say: You can have Jesus' birthday -- I worship at the altar of Boxing Day.

The BD tradition is every bit as proud as the NBA's Occupy X-mas Prime-time movement, with games almost as high-scoring. On Dec. 26, 1963, for instance, a whopping total of 66 goals were scored in 10 matches: Fulham beat Ipswich 10-1, Blackburn won 8-2 at West Ham and Burnley hung six on Manchester United. That must have been some pretty strong eggnog they were serving at Ipswich's holiday party.

And it's not only goalfests that BD gifts soccer fans, but surreal scenes like a certain orange-faced manager berating his players on the field at halftime because, in the spirit of giving, he wanted to heap as much humiliation on them as he possibly could. Take a bow, Phil Brown, wherever you're currently enjoying your gardening leave.

Happily, I will experience no such stress on Monday, with the Arsenal game against Wolves having been shoved back 24 hours due to a transit strike. Of course, if RvP should tear a hamstring opening that Halo I bought him, I will throw myself down a chimney.

Because there's such a feast of games to choose from and only so much time before your hangover really kicks in, it's important that you don't waste your waking hours on matches that are either blackout-inducing or impossible to find on cable.

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