Dani Alves's top 10 from his press conference

Dani Alves made a whole host of memorable comments during his press conference. Here are the best moments:

1. "The secret to beating Real Madrid is having a great team that plays with balls".

2. "My girlfriend turns me on, not a match when you get kicked about".

3. "I don't hope Real Madrid do badly... I hope for much worse than that".

4. "Since Guardiola we've revolutionised football for the better".

5. "Respecting the opposition means scoring the fourth, fifth and eighth goal... We learnt that from Pep".

6. "If we can win these games 100-0, that's much better than 4-0".

7. "This 'Clasico' is the one where I think the opposition's inferiority was most noticeable".

8. "I don't care about what Cristiano does".

9. "It seemed like there was a campaign to get me out the club".

10. "When people compete with me, they usually lose".