Cheryl Cole’s furious showdown with cheating husband Ashley

Affair ... how we reported story

I put the phone down and Ashley carried on talking. I felt the colour fall out of my face as I stood rooted to the spot. And then I started trembling uncontrollably.

“What’s going on?” I shouted the second Ashley got off the phone. I was expecting, wishing, him to say: “It’s a lie” — but he didn’t.

“Like I told you before, it was a horrible night. I got too drunk and I can’t remember it.” I was in proper shock now, convulsing and wanting to vomit. To me that was like he was admitting it.

“I don’t believe you can’t remember anything at all,” I said. “It’s just not good enough. You need to start remembering — and fast.”

“I’m telling you,” he said. “I was so drunk. I wish I could remember but I can’t. Something happened — but I don’t know what.” I was in such a terrible state. I went and switched on the computer, alone, waiting for the story to appear on The Sun’s website.

Ashley was upstairs now, in the bedroom. He was lying to me and couldn’t bear to see me read the truth. I was shocked on so many levels when I saw the story online.

Seeing the girl in question was the first blow. She looked horrible to me. But it was what she had told the paper that was really disturbing. I was looking for something that just didn’t add up, but that isn’t what I got at all.

The girl said Ashley had been so drunk he couldn’t walk straight — that he was incoherent and that he was vomiting during the sex. I was absolutely disgusted. My mind was filling with questions.

Physically, how do you even get turned on, let alone have sex, when you are that incoherent? I’d never questioned sisterhood before. In my world, girls stuck together. Now I was asking myself how one woman could do this to another.

“You need to read this,” I shouted to Ashley. “You need to get your a*** down here now.” He came down quietly but wouldn’t read it. “I’m not,” he said, looking at the floor and shaking his head. He looked appalled and upset with himself.

My whole body was shaking and now my head was exploding. We had everything and now our trust had gone and we’d lost it all. That’s how it felt. It was such a waste of absolutely everything good that we ever had together.

I totally lost it then. I felt every emotion possible: confusion, sadness, physical pain, sickness and fury, like I’d never experienced.

Before I knew it, I was lashing out at Ashley in every way I possibly could. I hit him in the face — I couldn’t help it. I was shaking him, kicking him, scratching his face, pushing and shoving him like I was a lunatic, and he just took it as it was obvious I’d gone crazy.

In fact, the more I pushed and provoked him, the more Ashley clammed up. “I hope you enjoyed it!” I screamed. “I hope she was worth it! It’s the end of your marriage! You don’t understand what you’ve done. It’s f***ed!” After hours of me ranting, screaming and crying uncontrollably, I was exhausted.

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