Milan 1-2 Juventus

Posted Sunday, October 31, 2010 by theguardian.com

Milan 1-2 Juventus
Zach Braff from Scrubs has a shot from distance early on in tonight's match.

Evening. There's no team news as yet so I'm effectively just writing to show that I'm here. It hasn't even started on ESPN yet all I can see is Sir Alex Ferguson saying that Man Utd's controversial second goal tonight was completely legal.

Which is exactly what he would have said if it had been scored against them.

1 min: No messing about from ESPN. We're straight into the game, none of this discussion nonsense. They should try that on any programme featuring Alan Shearer. Even if it's Children in Need. Pato charges up the field and nearly scores after a one-two with Zlatan.

3 min: Over in La Liga, Herucles are beating Real Madrid. You can follow it with our scores service, which is basically a static screen with the score on it – I can guarantee it will still contain more insight than this little shindig I'm concocting.

5 min: Milan Pato again for Milan but Zlatan miscontrols and the ball bounces harmlessly into the Juventus box.

8 min: It's Pato to Zlatan again but this time it's much more fruitful. Zlatan curls in a shot from the edge of the area and it smacks against the bar. Milan have been by far the most dangerous team.

10 min: Yup, it's the Pato and Zlatan show again. It sounds like I'm making this up because they're the two best known players but they're genuinely running the game. Pato plays in Zlatan again but his angled shot is palmed wide.

11 min: And only 11 minutes too late I have the teams:

Milan
Christian Abbiati; Daniele Bonera, Sokratis Papastathopoulos, Alessandro Nesta, Luca Antonini; Gennaro Ivan Gattuso, Andrea Pirlo, Kevin-Prince Boateng, Robinho. Alexandre Pato, Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Subs Marco Amelia, Mario Alberto Yepes, Bruno Montelongo, Clarence Seedorf,
Ignazio Abate, Mathieu Flamini, Filippo Inzaghi

Juventus
Marco Storari; Marco Motta, Leonardo Bonucci, Nicola Legrottaglie, Paolo De Ceglie, Jorge Andrés Martínez; Felipe Melo, Alberto Aquilani, Claudio Marchisio, Alessandro Del Piero, Fabio Quagliarella
Subs
Marco Costantino, Frederik Sorensen, Manuel Giandonato, Mohamed Lamine
Sissoko, Simon Pepe, Niccolo Gianetti, Amauri

13 min:Juve's first chance. Melo's firm shot is saved well by Abbiati, who clutches the ball to his chest. "Well, I hope the standard of conversation in here is better than it was on the United/Spurs MBM," says Phil Sawyer. "I've learnt things about Mac Millings tonight that will haunt me to my grave." Conversation? I'd just be happy to know anyone was reading.

15 min: Well, this has been about as end-to-end as Serie A gets. I can see an end as I type. It's the Juve one and Pirlo is about to smack a ball towards it. Juve clear for a corner which Milan fail to exploit. By the way, I've seen Kevin Prince Boateng a few times for Milan now and he's looked good every time.

18 min: "We are reading, Tom, never you fear," says Kat Stratton. "It is much easier to read about Juve's failures than it is to actually watch them." I'll try and oblige you then ... no they've resolutely refused to mess anything up for the last 20 seconds. Aquilani isn't even injured yet.

20 min: It looks like Milan are going to break but Zlatan's first touch is terrible – not something you say very often – and suddenly Del Piero is in on goal. Abbiati saves his shot at the near post though. Del Piero should probably have looked up and fed one of his team-mates.

22 min:Gattuso's drive is well ... driven but it's straight at Storari who pats it down. The skin on my back has got quite painful, always a sign I am getting ill so I apologise if I expire during the game.

GOAL!!!!!! Milan 0-1 Juventus (Quagliarella 23) Free-kick is whipped into the box. Maybe whip-floated and Quagliarella leaps around brilliantly to plant the ball beyong Abbiati.

25 min: Hmmm. That was completely against the run of play, we've got a good chance of some Zlatan sulking tonight. Never a bad thing.

27 min: "To be honest, Tom, I'm really only here on Aquilani watch," says Phil Sawyer. "How's he looking? Then picture Christian Poulsen playing instead of him and tell me how Aquilani's looking." Well, he has been allowed out without his mittens or his bobble hat despite the fact that's it's a tad cold tonight so things are looking up.

30 min: "Re: your comments about coming down with an illness," writes Paul Chevney. "I have a foolproof way of knowing I'm ill: if I start vomiting and coughing up bloof I'm 75% sure there's something up." Del Piero – who is determined to not pass to anyone tonight – has a shot which is too weak to cause Abbiati too much trouble.

32 min: Bonera and De Ceglie clash and both are down injured. "Since I started supporting Milan back in 1994 Juve have always been our bogey team - but sadly it seems some of the magic has gone," laments Iver Kleiven. "Inter have well and truly replaced them as our main rivals and Juve's recent struggles aren't helping. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want the almighty Juve of old back, they're good for Italian football and most importantly - they give me someone to loathe. Inter are still just a big club with a mid-sized club mentality to me." Don't worry a few years of Rafa and Inter should be the same old non-threats they once were.

34 min: Bonera is still down and Abate is warming up. Bonera looks in quite a bit of pain. Yup, Abate is on and Bonera is stretchered off.

37 min: Boateng smacks the ball in from 35 yards but it flies wide. De Ceglie still looks in some pain after the Bonera clash and he may come off soon too. "Oh, vomiting and coughing up blood is a sign of ill health," says Phil Sawyer. "That explains a lot. I probably ought to see my doctor then." He may give you some of that banana medicine if you're in luck.

39 min: A terrible ball from Bonucci nearly lets Milan in. Then Kevin Prince Boateng does some clattering and earns his customary booking.

40 min: Yup, De Ceglie can't carry on. Pepe comes on in his place.

41 min: Abate's first cross of the evening consists of him pelting it behind Juve's goal.

43 min: Oooh. Abbiati has a huge flap at a Juve cross and nearly delivers the ball to his opponents.

45 min: Martinez is too clever for Abate, who wrestles him to the floor. Juve can't exploit it though. Three minutes of added time.

Half-time: Pirlo was booked for something I didn't see. He didn't argue though, so he probably deserved it. The game started off at almost Premier League pace but cooled after the Bonera injury – the fact that both sides sustained injury took a bit of fire out of the game. Zlatan nearly equalises twice just before half-time. Heading straight at Storari and then blazing over from eight yards out.

46 min: And we're off. Again. "As an Inter fan, may I reply to Iver Kleiven at 32 min that for me Milan nowadays are a just a mid-sized club with an overly-inflated ego," says Vincenzo Auteri. "Sadly agree about the Rafa part, anyway."

47 min: Pato tries to bring back the good old days if the first 10 minutes with some jinking but he loses the ball. Stephen Robinson has no fewer than three points:

"1. My five-year-old son Thomas called this game quite out of the blue "A super huge Serie A classic tonight. You can't teach 'em the European super powers!

2. Without naming the US based broadcaster, you would assume the commentator could have learned basic Italian pronunciation. Who the feck is 'Pearlow'?

3. Liverpool need a true Italian master in January ... Quagliarella"

Firstly, Thomas is welcome to come down and do the last 20 minutes for me. I'm in early tomorrow, I'm not sure when his bedtime is though. We can sort something out. Secondly, I doubt Quagliarella needs Liverpool.

50 min: Zlatan does his karate kick lay-off thing to Robinho but it doesn't quite work. His shot is then blocked by Melo shortly afterwards. "Felipe Melo has got to be the most annoying footballer in the world," fumes John McLauchlin. "At least Van Bommel can be amusing in a sort of evil genius sense. I don't think I've ever seen a game where he hasn't been booked. Also, is it just me or is the Juve keeper a dead ringer for the Middle Eastern billionaire playboy from Entourage, Yair Marx?"

53 min: Pepe is booked for a ludicrous studs up challenge. Pirlo takes the free-kick but Juve manage to get it away. There was a whiff of panic though and Milan are starting to press.

55 min: Sissoko is about to trot on after Martinez's hamstring twanged so loudly you could just about hear it in the offices of a medium-sized newspaper in London.

57 min: Who would have thought it. Two Juve players exit injured and neitehr of them are Aquilani. "'A mid-sized club with an overly-inflated ego'", quotes Phil Sawyer. "You were lucky. I dream of the days when we were a mid-sized club with an overly-inflated ego. I am a Liverpool fan." I like to imagine the last five words were an anguished whispered.

60 min: Milan decide to string a few hundred passes together without actually going anywhere. They're the ones whoa are supposed to be chasing the game.

62 min: Robinho's first major contribution to tha game. He controls the ball exquisitely, skims down the wing and crosses to Zlatan. Zlatan dummies but there's no one for the ball to go to apart from Pato whose shot is blocked.

GOAL!!!!!! Milan 0-2 Juventus (Del Piero 65) That's his 179th goal for Juve in Serie A, a club record. Sissoko raced clear and should have scored but miskicked to my great amusement. Del Piero stopped laughing in time to lash the ball home. Oh, Momo. Oh, Milan.

68 min: Milan have dominated huge parts of this game but mystifyingly – the first 20 minutes or so aside – haven't really placed an importance on trying to score.

69 min: Robinho lashes the ball across goal. Boateng comes off for Seedorf.

72 min: Pato's header plops down just outside the Juve six-yard box. Everyone waits to see what happens, for a while it looks like Zlatan might pounce and score. But he lets Juve clear instead.

73min: Another sixteenth-chance for Milan. Pato nearly gets on to the end of a flick through but the keeper saves.

75 min: Inzaghi, 89, comes on in place of Pato.

78 min: Pato is getting something cold sprayed on his ankle. Zlatan's header loops across goal and Papastathopoulos puts it wide.

GOAL! Milan 1-2 Juventus (Ibrahimovic 81) Ibrahimovic converts his 11th or 12th chance of the night. He rises well to head the goal but the Juve defending was strictly so so.

83 min: I'd say on balance of play, Milan deserve their goal but with more urgency they could have got that goal earlier and had more time to chip away at Juve.

85 min: Amauri is on for Del Piero, who it's safe to say isn't exactly applauded off the pitch. Seedorf lashes a free-kick wide.

88 min:Seedorf finds Inzaghi exactly where you'd expect to find him: about two yards from goal. He's under some pressure though and heads over.

90 min: Five minutes of added time.

90 min +3: Free-kick for Juve on the edge of the Milan area. They spend a few minutes discussing it. Aquilani finally takes it and it's straight at the keeper. At the other end Storari saves Seedorf's long-range shot.

90 min+5: Inzaghi is brought down on the very edge of the area but he was offside. Seconds later the ref blows for full-time. Milan wasted chances early on – if they'd taken them you suspect they'd be at the top of Serie A. For the latest standings – Juve are now sneaking up on the top three, click here.